You’re at the point where you’re trying to pump oxygen into your relationship in hopes that it will stay alive but you’re getting nowhere. I get it because I have found myself there in a past relationship. It’s not fun and it can feel confusing AF. That’s why I’ve created a guide for you on how to save your relationship:
Be honest about what is bothering you
It’s easy to brush off the little things that your partner does that annoy or better yet, bother the sh!t out of you. At this point in the relationship, you need to be honest with your partner about what is bothering you.
It can feel difficult to discuss these things. You may even be wary of their reaction. If you never talk about it then you will never be able to address the problem in order to move forward. This is an opportunity to solve this issue for your relationship.
Communicate your needs
Needs change. I talk about this with my clients all the time. You can start a relationship needing one thing and then months or years later they’ve completely changed. It can feel like you and your partner are speaking two different languages.
I always say don’t compromise your needs, but pick and choose when compromising your wants. Your needs and your partner’s needs have to be met. It is vital that you discuss with your partner how to have them met. Keep in mind it may take time to see results in supporting each other’s needs.
Discuss what brought you two together
It can feel easy to forget what sparked your relationship. There is a reason you were both brought together in the first place. Reflecting on this can help each person see how you have grown together and apart.
If it doesn’t that’s ok. This then gives you a chance to discuss what is currently bringing you together and how you’ve evolved together. It can help bring you both clarity and help you both decide how to move forward from here.
Recognize your part
Everyone always has a part in the relationship. Sure, it can feel easy to always blame your partner for being the one who is bringing the relationship down. Sometimes your part is a small role and sometimes it’s a large role.
Figuring out your part can help you own up to making a positive change in the relationship. This sets you up to notice where you can change your behavior to help rekindle any issues that are in your control.
Stop blaming
It’s easy to be critical of your partner. Especially if you see ways from them to improve when they can’t. Blaming only leads to making your partner feel isolated. No matter how much they’ve messed up.
It’s important to remember that you are not perfect. If you constantly had someone pointing out what you are doing wrong then you’d probably feel upset. Next time you want to point your finger think of ways to assist your partner.
Let go of resentments
Let that sh!t go! Resentments are drinking poison while hoping the other person dies. You only damage yourself holding on. This does nothing for your relationship and instead, it drowns it. When you let go of resentments you are forgiving yourself.
Somewhere deep inside you’ve created a resentment to protect yourself. It no longer serves you in this relationship. Instead, it’s become damaging. Freeing yourself of this can cause peace and harmony in your relationship.
Forgive and move on
It’s ok to forgive your partner. And it’s ok to move on. By not forgiving your partner creates a false sense of control. This can feel safe but ultimately you don’t have any control over what your partner did.
It’s important to acknowledge your feelings of what has caused you not forgive but it is equally as important to release that. Moving on can allow you to see clearly ahead. This can help you and your partner unite by moving forward in your relationship.
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Disclaimer: I need to be completely honest with you because that’s how I roll, girl! If you are in a toxic or abusive relationship you need to focus on saving yourself and not the relationship. If you’re not sure if this is you check out this video I created to help you:
