Are you ready to breakup but aren’t sure how to end the relationship? I get it because telling someone you don’t want to be with them is uncomfortable, weird and awkward. In detail below I will explain 7 Steps on How to End a Relationship:
1. Organize your thoughts
There is nothing worse than word vomiting a breakup. It is important for you to get your head clear before actually breaking up with your partner. This helps you come to an understanding of why you need to do this for yourself and relationship.
Get specific on why you want to end this relationship. This will answer any doubt that comes up for you before your breakup or after your breakup. Use this as an opportunity to think about 1. why it isn’t working, 2. what your part is in it and 3. what is it that you would like in a partner.
2. Pick your communication funnel
It’s important to decide how you want to communicate your breakup. There is no right or wrong way to do it. It is also important to consider your wellbeing. For example, if your partner is abusive or manipulative it might be best not do it in person but rather via text or email.
If danger and distance are not a factor, then in person is my best suggestion for you. This has been the most effective way for my clients. It allows them to have a conversation during the breakup. Remember that it should not be a mean or malicious conversation. Mutual respect is key if you want to have a meaningful and constructive breakup.
3. Figure out what you want to say
Be mindful. Your partner may feel the breakup is totally unexpected. It’s essential that you think about what you want to say and how you want to deliver it. You don’t need to write it out step by step but it is important once you’ve gathered your thoughts that you think about what you should say.
It’s key that you respect yourself. This means being honest within. It can be tempting to want to beat around the breakup bush, but that tends to stall the actual breakup. This does not mean you should tell your partner every single hurtful detail about them. Instead, share with them why you are needing to breakup and keep the focus on yourself.
4. Make a commitment to yourself
Ultimately this is your life and you’re the only one who has to live with how you end your relationship. If you know 100% that this relationship is not right then stick to breaking up.
Keep in mind that if you’re not following through on a breakup you could be jeopardizing your self-care. It may not seem so but knowing that you are ready to end a relationship can be very taxing on your mental health. It can cause stress and anxiety that can seep into your work life and activities.
5. Breakup up with confidence
During the breakup conversation, you and your partner may be emotional. This is a healthy and normal response. This is where you may need to remind yourself that you have confidently thought this through. Be aware and don’t let your emotions back you out of the breakup.
Remember to speak in a calm and respectful tone. This is not a time to hash out any unsolved resentments or fights. It is important that you stay focused and confident in your decision to breakup.
Breakups can feel like heavyweight going in, but once it is over my clients always express the relief they feel. Keep in mind there is no right or wrong way on how to end a relationship. And there is always light on the other side of the tunnel for you!
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