Relationship expectations can be tricky but, let’s back up. When we first meet someone it’s easy to get carried away with the love, drama, and romance. You may actually be excited to compromise with your partner seeing no fault with their side of things. Although, like everything in life these feelings and thoughts pass.
So now what? You’ve been in a relationship where things have “settled down”. Yet you may be feeling a bit distant from your partner and not heard.
If you don’t try to sort out your expectations and talk about it with your partner then this sets you up to become resentful. This can cause major stress to a relationship which is totally preventable!
What constitutes cheating
Texting frequently with someone your partner doesn’t know? Going to dinner with a female co-worker? Everyone has different ideas and experiences when it comes to their perception of cheating. For some, cheating is only a physical while others believe it is emotional too.
Keep in mind that if you or your partner was cheated on previously, there could be potential for triggers in the relationship. It is important to discuss your definition and boundaries around cheating. If you disagree then it is essential not to brush it under the rug but to find a compromise where you both feel comfortable and heard.
Managing your money
Want to live together? Or buy a house someday? Money management can become stressful in relationships. Some couples equally split finances while some have one person handling all the finances. You want to make sure each person is open to discussing their spending habits and values around money.
Also, it is important to be aware of how you were raised around money and your relationship with it. This will help bring clarity to how you handle your finances and how you can work with your partner together on this.
Future where you see things going
Marriage? Kids? New city together? Whatever you have envisioned with your future you want to make sure your partner understands and can voice their vision too. It could be a huge issue if you never want kids but your partner does. If you never discuss these things then you can absolutely get let down.
Although it is never too early to talk about what you want in the future, be sure you are coming from a place of logic and reason. It can be easy to get carried away in a fantasy land of “what if’s”.
Sit in the discomfort and talk about it
Are you and your partner in a disagreement? Does it feel uncomfortable? Couples tend to turn to breaking up because they feel uncomfortable not knowing what’s going to happen next in the relationship. It is natural to want to run away from an issue by ending things. But it is important to check in to see if that issue is fear based.
It is completely normal for couples to go through stages of discomfort in their relationship. It becomes a problem when you are not addressing the root cause. Discussing the real issues behind the discomfort is super important to do together.
Communication is the key
Ever heard the phrase let’s just talk about it later? Or let’s just forget this happened? It is important that each person’s expectations are fulfilled and met. This means that both peoples expectations need to be heard.
It can be easy to default to your partner’s expectations and put aside your own thoughts feelings, but over time that can cause serious resentment. So don’t forget, put your needs out there and communicate it!
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